O-ron-ge Juice and Scrambled Sheggs
by Thumbtax
Summary: Defeating Dr. Drakken was just TOO easy this time...little did Kim Possible know that it was all part of the plan. A familiar but hopefully funny little two-shot plot.
1. Chapter 1

All characters are property of the Walt Disney corporation.

* * *

"Curse you, Kim Possible!"

Dr. Drakken's voice echoed angrily through the lair as his teenaged nemesis emerged from the rubble of the demolished Hyper-Entropho-Diffusulator Ray. Kim smirked.

"You're slipping, Drakken - this latest plan was sloppy even by _your_ standards. Stealing twenty-year old, obsolete military technology from a government recycling center? They probably would have _sold_ it to you for pennies a ton."

"I don't _buy._" Drakken said disdainfully. "It's the evil principal of the thing."

"Whatever." Kim kicked a hunk of shrapnel out of her path. "They don't even care about pressing charges, as long as the machine is destroyed and recycled."

"Fine, I'll recycle it."

"_Not_ into another doomsday device." Kim said threateningly.

"N-no, of course not!" Drakken stammered concilatorily as she advanced on him. "Into a-a playground for the henchman day-care! So many families have both parents henching full-time nowadays, you know."

"I _guess_ that's okay." Kim said doubtfully.

"Of course! We must think of the tots... ahem..." Drakken laughed nervously. "Shego! I could really use some _backup_ _in here_!"

There was movement from the darkened corridor on the other side of the lair's main chamber. Kim braced herself for an attack-but it wasn't Shego who emerged from the shadows.

"Ron!" Kim said in relief. The last time she's seen her sidekick-slash-boyfriend, he'd been fleeing at top speed while Shego slung energy blasts at him.

"You can relax-I defeated Shego for you." Ron said causually.

"_You_. Defeated _Shego?_" Kim replied in a voice laden with skepticism, still scanning the dark corners of the room for the telltale glow of green plasma.

"I guess that one's not very believable, is it?" Ron shrugged. "Okay, I hid in a cupboard. Eventually she got tired of looking for me. I sneaked out while she was taking a coffee break."

"She just gave up? That...doesn't sound like her." Kim said warily.

"Yeah, I know! You know, maybe she'd have been more persistant if Drakken paid her a little better," Ron suggested cheerfully.

Drakken shot Ron a poisonous look. "_Maybe_ if she were able to keep track of one buffoon without requiring backup, she'd get that raise she's always whining about."

"Well, I'd _love_ to stick around and kick the coffee out of her, but we've done what we came for, and I've got three pages due on Kafka's _Metamorphosis _tomorrow. Come on, let's get out of here," Kim said with a smile, taking Ron's hand.

Drakken grumbled loudly as the two teenagers left his lair. The grumbling faded as the roar of distant jetpacks kicked in, and by the time the sound had faded, he was grinning broadly and even chuckling to himself in a rather mellow remix of his usual maniacal laugh.

_ You think you're all that, Kim Possible_, he chortled to himself, _but you fell for it!_

* * *

"Bwa..uh... ohhh, mooooom!" Ron mumbled blearily. "I don't feel good... I'm gonna stay home today..."

He tried to piece together last night's events. Another routine foiling of Dr. Drakken- another routine retreat from searing plasma on his part-followed by escape and a moonlit flight home. Or had he just dreamed that last part? His head was pounding too hard to remember.

"Mom! Check if I have a fever! I promise I'm not gonna do that lightbulb trick again. I don't have to go to school, do I?"

"You're not going _anywhere_."

"Aw, thanks Mom, you're the best," Ron said. Wait, had his mother always had such a deep, villainous voice? He woke the rest of the way up in a hurry, to find himself face to face with a Drakken who looked far too cheerful.

"Oh, _great_." From the feel of it, he was strapped down securely in a spreadeagled position. "I had to get knocked out and made to sleep on a metal grille again. I'm gonna have major grille face all day now. KIM!"

His cry bounced off the walls of the confinement chamber, distorted by the echo. No windows. A pair of stainless steel, double-reinforced doors that were probably thicker than he was tall. A dozen heavily-armed henchman stationed around the room.

Kim might even have to break a sweat for this one.

"Your friend can't help you now, uh... you." Drakken said with a smirk. "As far as she knows, her insipid little... Robert? Roger? As far as she knows, her insipid little _sidekick_ is on the way back to Middleton with her."

"My name is _Ron Stoppable!_" Ron countered angrily.

Drakken seemed to find this especially amusing. "Is it_ really?_" he sneered, holding a mirror up in Ron's face. Ron gaped in shock-and in the mirror, a familiar pale-green face gaped back at him.

"I'm... _Shego?_ Wait, why am I Shego?" Ron exclaimed. "Okay, I really think I would remember something like that!"

Drakken chuckled. "I've perfected the mind-switching device. I even fixed that little issue with the voices, so the exchange is perfect!" He scratched his head thoughtfully. "Never understood why the last machine bothered to include that larynx-exchange plugin..."

"I have her voice too? 'La la la. I'm going to get you. Your plan stinks, Dr. D.' " Ron said experimentally. "I dunno, sounds a little off to me."

"Oh, _everyone_ says that when they've been mind-switched into someone else's body and hear their voice in first-person." Drakken snapped. "Trust me, it's a perfect switch, all right."

"But...why do you want me in Shego's body?" Ron asked. There was really nowhere his mind could go with this that didn't end in sick-and-wrong territory.

"I _don't_, you buffoon, _you're_ just going to stay there while I keep you chained up so you don't scratch the paint job, so to speak. It's Shego in your body that's the important thing." Drakken chuckled maliciously. "What better way to destroy Kim Possible than to replace her trusted sidekick with a viper in her bosom?"

"Hey, sidekick-_slash_-boyfriend, there's been an upgrade you know, try to stay in the loop here!-wait, what? What are you going to do to Kim?"

"Something..._horrible_! I'll give you more details when I've decided what it is. Don't worry... I assure you that'll you'll get full credit for all of Shego's hard work. Just think of it as copying off someone else's test paper. In a test of _villainy_!" He chortled with evil glee. "But now that you mention it, there IS something I've always wanted to do to Shego... something that won't leave a permanent mark! It's simply a matter of fetching, the, a-hem, _proper equipment_."

Drakken scuttled off gleefully, leaving Ron hanging.

_ Oh great_, he thought. _How am I going to get out of this one?_

* * *

The noise of the jet engines was reduced to the distant roar of a faraway waterfall by the soundproofed walls of the cabin. Shego had expected this to be the most challenging part of the mission-getting used to her hijacked body, having to bluff her way through conversation with Kim on the ride home without tipping her off. Instead, Kim had dropped off into a nap almost as soon as they'd boarded.

_ Should've realized Kimmy would sleep on the plane_, Shego chided herself. _It's probably the only spot in Little Miss Perfect's busy schedule open for her to squeeze some Zs in between bathing the elderly and helping disabled puppies to recycle._

She petted Ron's gross little...naked rat thing. She didn't want to, but it was what Ron would have done, and she didn't want to blow her cover. Rufus was a pretty clever animal, and he'd actually witnessed the mind-switching device Version 2.0 in action. It was more subtle than the first one, involving two discrete chambers - all she'd had to do was chase Ron into one, quickly make for the other and hit both the 'transfer' and 'knockout gas release' buttons simultaneously. Presto-unconscious Ron-in-Shego in one chamber, Shego-in-Ron in the other ready to 'escape' by 'luckily' happening on the keycode that would open the door. She doubted that it would have been clear to the naked eye what had happened, let along to the naked mole rat's eye.

Still, he was clever...

She considered quickly opening the door a crack and just popping him out over the ocean. She decided against it. Odds were Kimmy was a light sleeper.

* * *

Drakken returned to the prison cell, cheerfully wielding a washable magic marker. "I am going to draw _such_ a mustache on -"

He looked around at the plasma-scarred walls of the room, the groaning henchmen nursing their burns, the melted remains of the confinement rack... and the equally twisted wreckage of the door opposite him.

His face fell. "Ahhhh, that's right, the powers stay with the body. Oh, drat, I think I made a boo boo."

* * *

Shego landed lightly on the front lawn, removing her jump helmet and instinctively shaking her head to straighten a mane of black hair that was no longer there.

"Wow. Nice landing, Ron!" Kim said cheerfully as she alit.

"Uh... right. Thanks!" Shego responded. It hadn't taken her long to get used to Ron's body, and while he wasn't nearly as strong as she was, he wasn't in bad shape either, Naco addiction notwithstanding. She'd landed gracefully. Too gracefully for Ron.

_ Maybe I should pretend to get tangled in my 'chute_, she told herself. _Just to be on the safe side._

"Uh, so, Kim." she started. "Y'know, I haven't even started on that Kafka paper. Maybe I could hang out here for a while, you could, uh, write me up a little somethin' somethin'... yo?" _She _must_ do all his homework. It's the only way he's still in school,_ Shego thought.

"'Kafka paper'?" Kim said, rolling her eyes. "Oh, honestly Ron, you'd think you'd at least pay enough attention in class to know what the homework _is _even if you're not going to do it."

"Yeah, I just, uh ... huh?"

"There's no paper, silly. You think I wanted to tell _Drakken_ all about our plans for tonight? _So_ not!"

Shego stopped herself from asking 'what plans?' just in time. "Right, just got a little mixed up, yo."

Kim took Shego's hand. The redhead's hand felt tiny in Shego's unfamiliarly big and pink one. "It's not often that Mom, Dad and the tweebs are all away overnight. Come on!"

Shego tried not to let her increasing anxiety crack through the carefully-planned facade of vapid Ron-ness. _What plans!?_

* * *

_ This is so wrong_, Ron told himself. _I can't believe I'm catching a ride back to Middleton with... with..._

"Thanks again for the lift, Killigan."

"Don' mention it, lassie!" Duff Killigan replied. " 'Twas the least I could do for ye after that time ye, er, 'acquired' history's first golf ball from the tomb of Lord Angus Titleist for me!"

"Er, it was just a little grave robbing. No big," Ron improvised, scooting as far over in his seat as he could. As long as he was in this body, he just didn't trust a middle-aged man in a kilt.

The golf-ball shaped helicopter broke through the clouds and emerged into the clear, cold night sky. Ron wrapped his arms around himself and shivered, trying to keep warm without putting a hand on anything he shouldn't. _Would it be cheating if they're_ mine?, he wondered.

"But ye still haven't explained _why_ ye needed an emergency pickup from your own lair." Killigan asked.

"Uh, that. Yes. Hahaha!" The laugh was unusually high-pitched and girlish, and quite unlike anything he'd ever heard from the real Shego. "Our hovercar broke down, see, and so I'm on the way to Middleton to jack that new top-secret prototype Kim's d... Dr. James Possible has been working on."

"I have'na hairrd of any top-secret prototype," Killigan said suspisciously.

"Well, duh! Top secret, hello?" Ron said sarcastically.

"And I suppose tha's why ye put out your little distress call t' every villain in a five-hundred-mile radius? Because it's a secret?" Killigan clucked his tongue. "I hate t' say it t' a lass with a complexion lovely as the linka of bonnie Scotland hairrself, but I think your employer's brains are rubbin' off on ye."

"Well...but...I'm in a hurry! We need that prototype to... rob...some orphans. Tomorrow. Drakken was very insistant. And you were the first ride to come along!"

Actually, Killigan had been the second villain to arrive. Motor Ed was still lying unconscious on Drakken's roof, under his own jet-powered motorcycle. Ron shuddered. Some lifts just _weren't_ worth the cost.

"Take the controls for a moment, would ye?" Killigan asked. "I've got ta make a wee trip ta the Nineteenth Hole."

He headed towards the little room in the back of the copter. Ron looked at blinking panels of light, each with its own mysterious meaning.

* * *

"So, Mom's at this big neurology conference-the biggest brains in brains will be there, she said. She won't be back until Wednesday."

"Uh... huh."

"And Dad's practically been living at the office lately. Seriously. Sleeping bag and everything. I think he's finishing up some big new top-secret prototype or something."

"Riiight."

"And the tweebs are at Space Camp. I know, I remember what happened last time too, but Mom made them _swear_ they wouldn't 'improve' any NASA property before she'd even consider letting them go back. So they're out of my hair for the week."

"So, it's just us then," Shego said, gulping uncomfortably. "Got it."

It felt strange to be between a poofy blanket and a comfy couch in the Possible living room. It was even stranger that Kim was bustling about in the kitchen and chatting casually with her arch-nemesis.

"That's right, just you and me alone tonight!" Kim said brightly, emerging with a tray of lemonade and snack cookies. "Finally we'll get the chance to do what we've been waiting to do all this time."

"Right! That...thing!" Shego said desperately. She could feel a blush beginning to creep across Ron's freckled cheeks.

"I mean, I guess we could have done it in my room whenever, but then we'd have to worry about someone walking in on us," Kim continued, taking a spot next to Shego on the couch. "Major humiliation!"

"Oh, uh, yeah, definitely." Shego tried to scoot away without making it too obvious.

Kim nodded. "Especially since, you know, it's _totally_ not on the list of approved activities for our age group!"

"Well, you'd be surprised..." Shego was running out of scooting room, and those big green eyes kept staring at her.

"I mean, it was cute when we were_ five,_ but now..."

"When we were huh what now?" Shego yelped. "Wait, what were we talking about again?"

"Ron, you _can't_ have forgotten," Kim said with a smile. She produced a remote and expertly brought the TV and its attendant media systems to life. "Come on! This screening of Cuddlebuddies: The Movie is officially _on_."

"Oh, of course! Haaa, I ...love... the Cuddlebuddies movie." Shego said in relief. _Situation green._

"I know, right? Everyone thinks it's completely dorky, and I guess it is, but when Pandaroo uses the power of love to melt the evil Floog, it just gets me, right here, you know?" Kim grinned. "You're the only one who ever enjoyed it on the same level I do. If the tweebs or ... or _Bonnie_ ever found out we're fans..."

"No problem." Shego put her arms behind her head and relaxed. "It's all 'gravy' for the Ron-ster monster, yo. My lips are sealed like superglue, diggity dog."

_ At least until you fall asleep and I've got free reign to dig up all your dirty little secrets, Kimmy._ It wasn't hard to return Kim's smile. _A week from now you'll be _wishing _that your embarassing taste in movies was the worst thing the world knew about you._


	2. Chapter 2

Fortunately, Ron had spent time in a body shaped not all that differently from Shego's before. He had experience. He could run and dive and tumble in a female form just as well as he could in his own body.

Unfortunately, he was Ron, and that wasn't very well. He ended up deploying the chute several second too late, crashing through branches at high speed, and barely missing slamming into one of the larger tree trunks. High overhead, the plane spiraled past on an unstoppable corkscrew flight to who-knew-where. He'd somehow gotten the controls to lock up while he was messing with them; Killigan would be able to get them unstuck before the place run out of fuel.

Well, he hoped, at least.

He took one step and fell over. _Great. And now I'm tangled in my chute._

* * *

"Cuddle! Cuddle! It's all that we can do! We get in our cuddle huddle and we're gonna cuddle _you!_"

"Ehh..."

"Rooooon! If you don't sing it, the sugar pixie pony won't come back to life!"

"Kimmy-Kim, it's a DVD. The ending isn't going to change because you don't-"

"Ron!" Kim's face fell. "This isn't like you. You _always_ sing and dance the Cuddle Buddies Cuddle Huddle Waddle louder than _anyone_. Remember when we got thrown out of the theater? I swear, it's like... it's like you're just not _yourself_ tonight."

Shego grimaced. _This had better be worth it. _

She climbed up on the coffee table, tucked her arms against her chest, stuck out her butt, and began chanting in a tone of barely concealed murderousness, "_Cuddle, cuddle, it's all that we can do..._"

* * *

Ron slunk through the bushes at the bottom of the hill. Fiddling with the focus dial on his binoculars, he took another step closer to the Possible house.

"Bingo. Target is in the living room... with Kim..."

He paused.

"Doing... the Cuddle Buddies Cuddle Huddle Waddle?"

* * *

"Well, not that that wasn't just a barrel of laughs," Shego said, climbing down off the coffee table, "but, look at that, the horse is fine and the orphans are all cured of polio or whatever and look, there's the credits, oh boy, I am just bomb diggity dog tired!" She faked a tremendous yawn. "Aren't you tired?"

"No," Kim said, taking his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to stay up and snuggle?"

_Situation red situation red situation red situation red_

"Oh, I, ah, normally yes, but, h-haven't we seen enough snuggling for tonight?" Shego pulled away. "I mean, sure, cuddling, but it's pretty much the same thing, right, heh heh heh? Same...basic...idea..."

"How about we just start with snuggling?" Kim said, leaning forward. "And then see where things go?"

She planted her lips on Shego's before the villain could pull her stolen body away.

"Mmmmph..." Shego mmmphed, eyes darting around the room for any sign of escape. _Come on, something get me out of this! Anything!_

The picture window exploded in a shower of broken glass and rippling green energy. Ron, surrounded by a halo of incandescent plasma, burst through the new hole, vaulted over the couch, and whirled to face them.

"Get your lips off my _girlfriend!_"

_Anything but that,_ she amended too late.

Kim leaped easily into a fighting stance. "Shego! This is my _house!_"

"Kim!" Ron cried. "That's not me! I mean, _I'm_ me! I mean, I'm-"

"Aaaaargh!" Shego screamed at the top of her lungs, clapping a hand to her forearm. "My arm! The glass-!"

Kim gasped, her eyes wide and fearful at first, then narrowed and boiling hot as she set her sights on the intruder.

"That's _it!_" she snarled, and launched across the room in a flying jump kick. "Shego, you're goin-"

_Crack!_

"-down?" Kim finished, looking down at the jumpsuited form sprawled across the living room rug. "Weird. Usually she dodges or blocks or something. She just sort of...stood there doing the deer-in-the-headlights thing."

"Yeah, I saw," Shego said, wincing.

"Ron, your arm!" Kim cried. "We have to disinfect it and get a bandage on right away!"

"Er...I'll be okay," Shego said, hiding the "injured" arm. "It's just a scratch. Really."

"Well, at least do the bandage!" Kim said. Suddenly, she blushed. "Uhm, and Ron...I just want to say I have _no_ idea what Shego was talking about. I mean, okay, I've always known she's had this kind of _thing_ for me-"

"_Excuse me?_"

"-but I never, ever, ever did anything to make her think-"

"I'm...I'm not..." Ron said, struggling to his feet and pushing black hair out of his face. "Not Shego..."

"_It's a trick, Kim, she's trying to get you to drop your guard, get her!_" Shego blurted. Kim whirled and caught Shego with a roundhouse kick to the jaw.

"Good! Knock her out!"

Kim obliged with a heavy right cross that knocked Ron halfway across the room.

"Well, maybe knock her out a little more carefully than_ that_-" Shego said uneasily.

"Fight me for real!" Kim growled, stalking towards the reeling green girl. "You come in here, to my _house_, to the place where my _family_ sleeps, you won't even let me have a night with my boyfriend in my _own home_ and now you're not even_ trying?_ _Fight me!_"

THUD.

"Oh-uhm, Kim, sweetie-"

"_Fight me!_"

THWACK.

"Maybe you could go easy on her face-"

"Get up and _fight me__!_"

SLAM.

"For crying out loud, Kim!" Shego almost shrieked, grabbing Kim's arm to stop her from landing another punch. "Those are permanent teeth!"

"Oh." Kim looked down at her scraped knuckles. "Oh. Wow. I-I don't know where that came from, I just-when I thought she hurt you, I just kind of...snapped, I guess."

"Ah, well, she's down now, a heh heh heh. No need to keep punching her." Shego laughed uncomfortably. "I mean, we're good guys, right?"

"Right." Kim wiped sweat off her brow. "I need a _major_ cooldown after that. You call the police, I'll secure our friend here, and then let's hit up _The Cuddle Buddies Take Staten Island!_"

_Yeesh_, Shego thought as she walked into the kitchen, _I think I liked it better when she was punching my body in the face. At least there was no dancing involved. New plan: pretend to make the call, grab whatever intel I can find, and get out. We can always exchange the "hostages" later._

Kim leaned down over the fallen green fighter, sliding a pair of Wade's special electromagnetic handcuffs-tough enough to hold even meteor-fueled supervillain-out of her backpack.

"Is she gone?" Ron murmured, his eyelids fluttering.

"Is who gone?" Kim said, hesitating.

"Shego."

"Wow, I really _did_ hit you too hard, didn't I?" Kim sighed. "Well, I'll make sure the prison infirmary takes good care of-"

"No... that Ron, that was Shego. I'm Ron! They used that...that mind-switchy thing again, or something!"

"What?" Kim was taken aback. "No way. Come on, you'll have to better than _that_, Shego."

"I'm _serious_, K.P.! I can prove it. Take me to Bueno Nacho and I'll do that trick where I eat a dozen nacos."

"I can't-I can't just let you run around town!"

"You can cuff me! I eat them with my feet, remember?"

Kim paused. "Okay. You know how Ron's special naco trick goes. But that doesn't prove-"

"Don't listen to her!" Shego snarled, stepping back through the kitchen door. "I heard what she said. Pretty obvious trick, Shego! Way too lame for _you_. Did the blue buffoon think this one up?"

Kim's eyes darted back and forth between the two. "I-I'm not sure what to do here."

"I can prove I'm Ron," Shego said. "Go ahead. Ask me something only I would know."

"Uhm, okay," Kim suggested. "Okay-how much does a pack of your style of socks cost at Smartie Mart?"

"Dollar forty-nine," Shego said smugly. _I knew I memorized all that insipid trivia for a reason._

"I knew that, too!" Ron yelled.

"Who was the villain in your favorite issue of the officially licensed Team Go limited edition comic series?"

"Maven Sparlock."

Kim frowned. "No-it was Squash Lass."

"No, she's right," Ron said, "Maven Sparlock _is_ Squash Lass. Issue 31. She got knocked into a vat of radioactive squash puree at the old Go City canned squash factory, got squash powers, and went on a gourd-based crime spree that gripped Go City in a warty yellow fist of terror." He frowned. "But that doesn't prove anything! _Everyone _knows that!"

"Okay, uh, how about this one?" Kim asked. "Where does a naked mole rat live?"

Shego smiled. "Naked mole rats are native to East African tropical grasslands, where they live underground, in big old communal burrows. Oh, yeah! Booyah!" She pumped her fist in the Ron-est way she knew how.

"I don't know, Shego," Kim shrugged, "that sounds like pretty good Ron information to me." Snapping the cuffs onto her partner, she turned to her disguised nemesis. "The police are on their way, right?"

"I, uh, I didn't get a chance to get through. I'll do that now." Shego wandered back into the kitchen. _Maybe I should call the cops for real. Get the sidekick out of the way for a few days, at least. Yeah-I'll do that._

She felt arms wrapping around her from behind, and Kim's head nuzzling her shoulder. _Great, more of this._ "I'm sorry for doubting you," the redhead murmured. "I had to be sure."

"It's _fine_, Kimmy, it's not a big deal. Ah, yes, hello, I'd like to report a-"

"Kimmy?"

Shego froze. "I mean Kim. K.P." The arms wrapped around her were decidedly less romantic. "...Honey?"

"You're Shego," Kim hissed. "You ARE Shego!"

"No, no, I'm Ron!" Shego blurted. "I'm totally Ron! Look! Whoops, here go my pants again!..."

She began struggling with Ron's belt.

"...see... here they go... aheh... Wow, those are really on there, aren't they?"

Ron sauntered in from the living room. "I make it look so easy, don't I?" He held out his cuffed hands. "Kim, do you mind?"

"_You're Shego!_" Kim said again. "And you _kissed_ me!"

"_I_ kissed _you?_" Shego snapped. "You were-unfh-on me like a love-starved octopus, you-ahah, got 'em!"

The baggy cargo parts fell to the floor, revealing Ron's boxer shorts, just in time for Kim to tackle Shego and snap the cuffs on her wrists.

"And for the record," Ron said, standing over her, "the correct answer to 'where does a naked mole rat live?' is 'in my_ pocket!_'"

"Duckies."

"Huh?"

"_Your_ track record with pants," Shego sighed. "And you still wore the boxers with duckies on them."

* * *

"Thanks for arranging a lift for us, Mr. Doogan," Kim said into the Kimmunicator. "I know it was sort of short notice."

"Well, shucks, Miss Possible, you know my private jet is at your disposal anytime," drawled oil magnate Tex "Stanley" Doogan. "Least I can do after y'all taught me so many valuable tips for reducin' my carbon footprint! Mind you, I seem to recall one of the main tips bein' that I shouldn't _use_ the jet so much..."

"Thanks again," Kim said quickly. "We'll be watching for it!"

"It's gonna be great to get back to my old body again," Ron said, his goofy grin plastered on Shego's normally inexpressive features. "How about a celebration while we wait?"

"How about not?" Shego grumbled from the couch.

"What did you have in mind?" Kim asked.

"I was thinking, as long as I've got this borrowed digestive system, y'know, we could hit up Bueno Nacho for an double helping of Saucy Jack's beef 'n' bean Tiajuana Time-Bombs!"

"You wouldn't," Shego said, horrified. "It's less than a month until swimsuit weather!"

"Oh, Shego. Poor, naive Shego," Ron laughed. "Thinking about a month from now, when you should be worried about what those things are going to do you_ tomorrow_. You know, it's Drakken I really feel sorry for. He's gonna be the real victim here."

Shego growled.

"We should have champagne, too. I can buy it! I mean, technically, I'm... what, like forty? Forty-five?"

"_Forty-f-!_" Shego choked.

He patted her head. "Don't worry, we'll save a glass for you."

"Someday, I will kill you with that hand."

"Let's just get out on the lawn," Kim said, opening the door. "Tex's jet should be here any-"

"Kim?"

Dr. James Possible stood on the front step in a rumpled lab coat, his briefcase and overnight bag in one hand, his key poised halfway to the lock in the other.

"Dad!" Kim said. "You're...home! Look, about the window-"

"Don't... don't worry about it," Dr. Possible said. "Your mother and I have been, uh, meaning to break that window."

"Oh. Dad." Kim looked over her shoulder. "So, you're probably wondering why Ron is here in handcuffs with his pants off-"

"Ahh, Kimmicub, I...respect your boundaries as an young woman and I trust you to make safe choices," her father said, "and other than that your personal life is none of my business, and I am going to go take a nap now because I am _very tired._"

"Okay," Kim said. "But-but don't you even want to know why Shego is here?"

"No!"


End file.
